CF, Birthdays and Life Expectancy
Everyday miracles worth celebrating
Hello friends and happy Easter!
As I sit here dipping a Cadbury’s Creme Egg into my cup of tea before devouring the whole thing in one go, whilst questioning whether to save the other two for later in the week (resistance is futile), I decided to share some thoughts that came to me over the last few days.
On Thursday 1st April I turned 39 years old (I know, April fool!) and as with every birthday, it came with a mixed bag of feelings that always leave me contemplating the past, present and future.
That’s the thing about CF, as you approach or surpass birthdays you were told you’d never hit, I feel it’s worth reflecting and taking a moment.
Feel free to read my thoughts or listen/watch via the video at the bottom of this post.
Enjoy x
I want to talk about CF, birthdays and life expectancy.
I think most of us tend to reach a certain age and when it comes to birthdays, something changes, we start to become less than pleased about the thought of getting older and in fact for many of us, the process of ageing is seen as a curse.
This way of thinking is nothing new, you can look back hundreds of years and read tales of the fabled Fountain of Youth and all those who went in search of it, a mythical spring that restores the youth of anyone who drinks or bathes in its waters.
Fast forward to today and everyone wants Botox, fillers or filters, and companies spend billions on r&d to attempt discover anti-ageing secrets that we all buy into.
So getting old is seen as something we’d all like to avoid… at all costs.
Well, I’m here to offer a different perspective.
I lost count of the amount of times over the last few days where people (harmlessly) had a bit of a ‘dig’ about the fact that I turned thirty nine and that I’m forty years old next year. All said in jest of course, but it plays to the narrative of ‘age’ being something we’d all prefer to avoid.
I mean don’t get me wrong, I have my fair share of aches and pains these days and I’ll be honest, I love a good nap given the opportunity too.
But having said this, birthdays for me have always been something that I welcome and celebrate openly rather than approaching with fear or regret.
And here’s why.
At 18 months old, thanks to Cystic Fibrosis - a condition my mum and dad knew nothing about - they were told I’d live until I was around fifteen years old. I can’t remember the age when this became apparent to me, but I do remember how heavy it felt.
When I was fifteen years old however, my life expectancy was now in the twenties.
In my twenties it was thirty one.
And actually a friend of mine who turned thirty posted a video recently to explain the pressure that she felt whilst approaching that age because she vividly remembers thirty one being ‘the age’.
Whilst I not only reached thirty one, obviously I surpassed it and in 2017 at thirty five years old, my health became really quite bad, worse than I ever admitted to anyone…
Not my best mate.
Not my mum or dad.
Not my sister.
Nobody.
My lungs were failing on a steady but certain decline, it’s something I’d been used to my entire life but all of a sudden I became well aware that I had little runway left.
The CF I knew was something that was pretty hard to manage and became harder over time. The fact is that you’re born with a pretty significant disadvantage, you have to work harder than anyone else in the room to achieve the same outcome and we’re constantly met with obstacle, failure and bad news… and yet whilst devastating, all of this creates something more.
Resilience.
You are not resilient, without struggle, and CFers are some of the most resilient people I have ever met.
Think about any successful entrepreneur, business man or woman. Every single one of them will attribute failure, hard times, stress and struggle to their success, and without it, they wouldn’t be where they are today. It is that simple.
Founder of Forbes Magazine one famously said:
“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heart-breaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.”
Fortitude therefore is the hallmark of a growth mindset, a mindset that allows one to thrive where others may have folded.
Back to birthdays.
A recently read about a study commissioned by Interflora - the flower people - that found on average people stop celebrating their own birthday at thirty seven and start lying about their age at the same time.
And that after examining the attitudes of two thousand people from across the UK towards their own birthdays, the study found that 39% of us are choosing to not celebrate at all – with one in four saying they’d rather not be reminded of growing a year older.
Pretty sad really.
For me as another year passes, I remember that fifteen years old life expectancy that my parents were offered all those years ago and at the same time, it offers me the welcome reminder that it is nothing short of a total miracle and privilege to not just be here still, but to be here and feel like there’s so much more ahead.
Genuinely in 2017, I thought I’d perhaps have a few years max, but three small tablets changed that and I now have no idea how long I’ll live. I don’t want to know, I don’t need to know, and in my mind, life expectancy is not something that can predicted right now, because these are unprecedented times.
Thankfully, through a bit of determination, lots of help, and perfect timing, I made it through those struggles.
I still have CF, medically I’m still not “healthy” and there are no guarantees that the hard times are over, but I’m here and the opportunity to keep growing older is... amazing.
I remember one of my favourite cards has the quote:
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most, live the longest.”
And for me that’s why ageing is an everyday miracle that is definitely worth celebrating.
Cheers!
Once again thank you for being here. If you’ve enjoyed this piece and you haven’t already, please consider subscribing. I won’t be offended if you subscribe and later decide it’s not for you, I understand how precious our email inbox is, so I welcome any opportunity to take up a slice of space for any amount of time.
Stay safe!
MC x
💛